Spoilers and Analysis: Zack Snyder’s Justice League
It’s finally here, the movie that all Snyder fans have been waiting for. If you don’t want to be spoiled, turn back now. Like all movies or life in general, it has its good, bad, and ugly side.
THE GOOD: Zack Snyder’s Justice League
I mean anything can be better than the abomination that was Justice League (2017), or as Snyder fans call it, Josstice League.
- Is story better? Compared to what we had earlier, probably yes.
- What about the fight scenes? A 100%. Superman finally learned to use a kick. The fight between the alliance and the forces of Apokolips is probably the best part of the movie.
Well, that’s all folks.
THE BAD
Warning: If you are Zack Snyder fan, turn back now. You can’t handle the truth.
Aquaman Is Non-canon Now
Remember Aquaman (2018) which made over a billion dollars and was loved by critics and fans alike? Yeah, Zack Snyder tries to make that movie completely non-canon. Atlanteans can’t speak underwater; instead, they literally make dolphin noises. They whistle at each other when in water and make air-bubbles to speak. Mera straight up tells that her parents are dead yet as we know, her father is alive and well in the Aquaman movie. This was already retconned in Aquaman but Snyder gonna Snyder.
The Bad CGI
I can’t stress enough on this. So Martian Manhunter is in the movie and believe me when I say this, CW’s Supergirl TV series did a better job at bringing the character to the screen. There is a scene where Cyborg is trying to access his own mainframe; the graphics in that scene are straight out of a PS2 game. When Flash enters the Flash-time aka when he is in superspeed mode and everything around him slows down, the CGI looks so 90s.
The Unnecessary Length Of The Zack Snyder’s Justice League
This movie could have easily been condensed into a 3-hour movie. The first half of the movie has lengthy scenes of Bruce Wayne just navigating a snowy terrain with his horse, characters literally staring into nothing for lengths of time and brooding without any reason. You can literally take out the scene where Wonder Woman saves the hostages and it won’t affect the movie at all. Ok, Snyder, we know she is a heroine. Not to mention the slow motions scenes, literally every fight is mostly slo-mo and sometimes you just wish it to be over already.
Zack V Physics: Yawn of Justice
For a movie that claims to be the most realistic take on superheroes based in the real world, the movie has worse physics than cartoons. Imagine an object moving at near-light speeds collides with something, what is going to happen? Probably something catastrophic. Flash quite literally somehow manages to ignore the momentum he gains at mach speeds when the plot requires it. In a scene, he runs so fast that his shoes get torn to shreds and the road beneath him his completely peeled off. In another scene, he casually tackles Aquaman at supersonic speeds without causing any significant damage. Steppenwolf’s axe quite literally paints the ground with lava accompanied by tremors yet when he strikes Superman’s shoulder, there is no impact felt by either Steppenwolf or Superman. It takes away from the “realistic” Zack Snyder and his fans keep bragging about.
The Ugly Score
This one could have easily been in the ugly section of the review. The movie is literally one song away from being a musical. In Zack Snyder’s universe where every alien species in far reaches of space speaks fluent English, we are forced to listen to some Icelandic song because Aquaman is taking a dip in the water. Okay Snyder, we get it; Hallelujah is a good song. But now the movie has songs for every scene. Whenever any Amazonian warrior is on the screen or whenever Wonder Woman so much as moves her finger, there is an annoying ‘Ohoooo Ohoooo’ vocals that pop up.
THE UGLY
False advertisement and click-baits
Zack Snyder hit a new low with this movie. All those Darkseid teases in the trailer and click-baits which implied that Darkseid was going to be the main villain of this movie, turn out they were just montages; an insult to the DC fans (not the Snyder fans).
Plot Holes
How is Clark Kent back in public eye? Didn’t his relatives attend his funeral? Didn’t the Daily Planet post an article on the death of their employee? Why is no one talking about how he came back to life after a year?
How did Lex Luthor come to know Batman’s true identity? Did he do it behind the scenes just like he found the identity of Superman in BVS behind the scenes? How did he escape Arkham? Oh, right behind the scenes. Is Steppenwolf omniscient? How did he know that Diana was the daughter of Queen Hippolyta? Oh yeah, behind the scenes.
How can Bruce Wayne turn Wayne Manor into the Hall Of Justice? So he is a billionaire whose parents were shot dead in front of him and he lives in a city where a vigilante drives a tank. How come no one suspects him being Batman? How are the barbers still alive in the post-apocalyptic Nightmare world? If not then who gave Deathstroke a Mohawk cut? Who does Cyborg’s fresh hairline? Who removed Joker’s tattoos?
Why does everyone keep popping on the screen from the ceiling? What is it with all the superhero landings? Why do they pose like Power Rangers going for a photoshoot? Why can’t they simply act like normal people? If Superman saw this movie, he would for sure have repeated his line, “You won’t let me live. You won’t let me die.”
The Verdict: Zack Snyder’s Justice League
Superman’s line from the movie itself, “Not impressed.”
